My journey and God’s grace

Feel free to leave comments about grace in your own life.
Thank you for being part of my journey.

The Facebook Lie in Christianity

Social media can be a great way to communicate but be weary of the subtle lie that Facebook tells you.  When someone updates their status, you have to options in response.  You can either like it or you can comment on it.  My heart is grieved that this represents times in my life that I have treated the gospel the same way in that I either had to like what was written in God’s Holy Word or that I had to add my own spin or comment to it.

I recently watched Francis Chan describe the childhood game of follow the leader.  How foolish would it be in the game to see the leader jumping up and down and all the other players just standing there with their response being, “well, I am doing it in my heart.” It is no different than the response that many of us have had or currently have about sharing the grace news of the gospel, tithing, the way we treat our spouse, humility, serving others, and showing favoritism.

Today, Matt Chandler spoke at the Southern Baptist Convention Pastor’s Conference.  He drew comparisons of the church teaching how Christians should act instead of dealing with the deeper issue of the depraved heart.  The teaching that our behavior determines our standing with God results in moralism.  Sins like pornography, sex addiction, theft, human trafficking, gossip, slander, pride, adultery, control and manipulation are all just symptoms of the real issue, the heart.  Like the prayers of Nehemiah 9, Daniel 9, Psalm 18, Deuteronomy 36, 1 Samuel 2 we ALL are sinful.  Each prayer has confession of sin, admission that they rejected of the Word of God, and rebellion are the themes of how people responded to God.  Each prayer references God as abounding in love, hearing our cry of repentance, showing mercy, and making provision for us.

In another sermon, Matt Chandler was speaking on the true signs of being renewed and having a regenerated heart.  When we become more aware of and deal with our own sin instead of focusing on others sin, we are displaying signs of renewal.  It is much easier to harshly criticize or chastise others sin but the pain of the plow as AW Tozer describes it in his sermon on Hosea 10:12 (Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers righteousness on you.) is breaking up the fallow hardened ground in our own heart realizing that we live and stand beneath Holy God.

I don’t need to follow the story of Joran Van der Sloot to know about human depravity.  I don’t need to see photos of the crime scene from Charles Manson’s victims.  I don’t need to watch the news as they parade person after person and story after story of those who have violated the law or deceived others.  I can look at my life today to see the woeful sin of a depraved heart.

I have had pride, lust, and envy all exposed in my heart today.  This is evidence that I still have idols that are being torn down.  Proverbs 19:22 What a man desires is unfailing love. Most would be uncomfortable confronting or admitting these places in their heart but I choose to jump head first into the truth that God loves me because he made me and there is nothing I can do to earn it – Tal Prince.

I don’t have to have an opinion about everything.  In the past, I confused Christianity as “what I wanted” with the cross in the background as the endorsement for my selfish ego.  The truth is I am hidden in Christ according to Colossians 3:3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. God’s word speaks and I just have to do what it says as a Christ follower whether it is to show grace to those who don’t give grace, tithe, share the gospel, or live in humility.  What I think and feel doesn’t matter.  We exist for His namesake, for His glory, that the world would know him through our lives!  Over lunch, Kelly Stephenson said to me “if we cling to the cross, it will be evident where we place our hope because our lives will be grace stained.”

New lessons from dirty diapers and throw up

I got a call from my sister in law early part of last week. She was going out of town for several days and her baby sitter plans had fell through. Her girls are ten, three, and one. It has been a LONG time since I have cleaned dirty diapers much less watched over kids for several days. At first, I didn’t want to do it. I felt inadequate. Fear was rising up in me from all the what ifs and scenarios of things going wrong. Due to my sin and consequences of my sin, I am still looking for a job. At the time of her call, I had $4.69 in the bank. There were times in the previous two weeks when I could not meet someone for lunch, go to church, or to celebrate recovery on Tuesday night due to limited finances. After talking with my sister, I decided that if this is how the Lord was trying to bless me who am I to say no because it is not how or what I thought should happen.

I challenge you to find one time in Scripture where any person other than Jesus Christ saw his or her plan work out just as they had imagined. Did Moses imagine the work of the red sea? What about Jonah being saved from the sea by a giant fish swallowing him? Do you think Saul thought he would encounter Jesus Christ on the road Damascus? Any idea what was in store for Zacheus when he climbed the tree? What was Gideon thinking when he hid in the well? Did the prostitute Rahab ever think she would be in the lineage of Jesus Christ after the life she lived as a harlot? Then there was the one little boy who brought his small lunch of bread and fish. Jesus took it, gave thanks, then fed the thousands gathered and even had left overs.

Here is a big moment of transparency for me with my two greatest struggles in recovery. I care what others think and have placed my value in their opinion or appreciation of things I have done. Secondly, in the past I have attempted to use my survival skills from abuse to predetermine any outcome that I possibly could. I based my obedience to the Lord on whether or not He was going to use me as I thought was best. How foolish and wicked of me.

There is no part of God that needs any part of me to be ALL that He is. However, I need Him to be who He has called me to be. Psalm 139 talks of how the Lord knew me before I was born. He saw me formed in the secret place. Before I ever breathed, He knew the number of my days. I cannot hide from Him. The darkest night is like daylight to Him. I love what Ezekiel tells the people of Israel about their rebellion and God restoring them in Chapter 36:22-23

“Therefore say to the house of Israel, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am going to do these things, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you have gone. ²³ I will show the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, the name you have profaned among them. Then the nations will know that I am the LORD, declares the Sovereign LORD, when I show myself holy through you before their eyes.

When we talk about all things working for our good or God knowing the plans to prosper us giving us a future and a hope, that future, that good, or that hope could be the sufferings of Christ that will bring only God the Father glory. I am not attempting to compare dirty diapers to Christ sufferings but Baby Lily through out a green atomic stink blowup that had me on my knees at 3 am asking God to give me strength and endurance. That is not a joke.

I have the privilege of meeting with a very dear friend each week. He reminds me that one of the goals in God’s economy is for us to live out God’s glory whether anyone every notices or sees us showing compassion, offering a kind word, pursuing grace full speed, or simply keeping our mouth shut and laying our cares at the feet of Jesus.

Zachariah 4:10 “Who despises the day of small things?

Whether it is a dirty diaper, folding chairs, rebuking a gossip, praying for your enemies, or giving the last two pennies to the Lord, Do not despise the small things because that is where God seeks to lay the foundation in our hearts and life.