Gratitude

Joel 3:10 NIV
Let the weakling say,  “I am strong!”

I know that I can only boast in what Christ has done, the very thing that I could never do for myself.

It is difficult to capsule today but I will try.  It is as if my life only began 18 months ago.  Everything is being seen from the devastation and the beauty that has followed.  I experienced the best worst day of my life on July 26, 2009 when confronted with my horrific sin.  Over the course of weeks, I lost most things dear to me.  In November, I turned myself in on charges stemming from my sin.  November 8th, my face led off the news locally and continued for several days.  My life was in shambles.  I was walking in the ashes.  I had no concept of up or healthy.  A very painful and beautiful process began to take place.  I call it the severe mercy and grace of God.  He began to tear away years of isolation, deceit, sense of entitlement, abuse, and neglect that had led to pain in my life and the lives of those I love.

I remember that one year ago today, a family who pours into the lives of my sister and her family invited me over for Christmas lunch.  I honestly didn’t want to go.  I did not know them and was still very gun shy about showing my face in public from the shame and embarrassment of the hurt I had caused.  I knocked on the door and was greeted with a hug as if I was the expected guest.  Grace was poured over me that day by several people.  I even received a gift to my surprise.

I got a phone call from that same lady with the same invitation for this year.  I was very excited.  I love being around my sister and her family.  I don’t have to put on any show.  I got the same hug at the front door.  I even brought stuffing.  I became overwhelmed to the point of tears when I stood outside watching the snow fall, “Thank you Lord for the pain and for your grace.  I know that it is your hand that has led me over the last 17 months.”  A simple prayer trying to muster the words to express gratitude for a gift that far outweighs them all.  I had a moment to catch both the husband and wife away from the rest of the crowd and I wasn’t shy about my thankfulness.  “This time a year ago, I was very fragile and the two of you showed me tremendous grace.  Thank you,” as tears streamed down my face.  The husband looks at me and says, “that is what I am supposed to do.”

We gathered later in the kitchen to say grace.  As we took hold of each others hand, he looks at me and says “David, our home would be honored if you would ask the blessing.”  I almost cried again (big surprise.)  Here is the prayer as best I can remember:

“Oh Lord, for the sake of your beautiful name and for your glory we give thanks.  Thank you for friends and family.  Thank you for the severe grace in that great exchange where you took on our brokenness giving up your righteousness in order to make us right with God.  We ask that you bless this food for your glory.  Amen.”

Today, I was able to do several of my favorite things: (stealing the list thing from Jen West, she rocks at list!)
1. sleep in
2. hear one of my favorite pastors (Matt Chandler)
3. Drink hot coffee mid morning with hazelnut creamer
4. talk to several friends and thank them for the grace that God allows them to show me
5. Watch three movies
6. Cook
7. Spend time with family
8. Express my gratitude
9. be quiet
10. fall deep into the assurance that I am loved and pursued passionately by God through grace

Missing Grace

I consider this to be the saddest passage in all of Scripture.  Here was an opportunity to show grace and it was passed over.

Luke 2:7 ESV

And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

 

I want to first acknowledge that I am the inn keeper every day.  Someone messes up an order, I make sure they know of the mistake.  Someone stalls in a promise, I remind them of what they originally said.  Someone hides behind the “God card,” I remind them about grace (the irony in that one is rich!) I stumble in showing grace to the older brother from the story of the prodigal.  When we refuse to show grace to others, we miss out on the blessing that took place in the manger.  New life broke through the world that night in the manger.  The inn keeper was busy worrying about customer service.  Hope invaded mankind.  The inn keeper was tallying up his profit.

The passage in Isaiah 61:3 that describes God giving us beauty for ashes is a beautiful picture of what takes place in the middle of our brokenness.  Jesus was born when animals had defecated.  Maybe the inn keeper had let a prostitute hide for a night there.  I doubt it was plush but the occupants that night would set our course for eternity.

I encourage you that the next time you are tempted to withhold grace, remember that grace is being poured out on you even in that moment.  Don’t miss out on the beauty of the stable that takes place in our lives everyday.  Become a person of the second chance.

PS.

Here is a great article by Mike Foster talking about the question that kills grace everyday.

http://www.potsc.com/gracenomics/the-most-deadly-question-for-grace/

Gracenomics

I have heard grace being compared to food poisoning.  Many people go to the doctor with upset stomach or fever and complain that they think they have food poisoning.  The doctor will often respond, “IF you had food poisoning, you would know it!”  The same can be said of grace.  If you have received it, you know it!  When you give grace, you know it too.  You consciously choose to lay down your own wants and needs in light of a greater calling on our lives.

I was stoked when I received an invitation to read and write a review for Mike Foster’s book, Gracenomics.  I read the entire book (70 pages) in one sitting and found myself cheering out loud for grace.  The book will be available on October 6, 2010 at www.potsc.com Gracenomics is a compelling invitation for the prodigal, the older brother, our inner Pharisee, and for the person who thinks they don’t need grace.

One of the things I love most about Mike is his humble owning of his failures and story.  Page 26 finds Mike being vulnerable in sharing his scars.  He isn’t making his sins or his failings the marquee of his life but he embraces the truth that they are part of him.  “The real me,” Mike refers to it, “This is my history; the rotting breadcrumbs that remind me where I’ve been. Some of them are still hard to talk about.  But, even in the darkest stretches, I could always hear grace stealthily moving in the background. Lurking in the shadows. I knew it was there. Following close behind.”

I will own my scars here too.  I often used God’s gift to encourage others as a tool to manipulate them.  I have a criminal record.  I plead guilty to one count theft of property for stealing $24,595.25 from a charity that I started.  By the grace of my family, I paid full restitution that same day.  I lost most everything in the last 14 months; friends, job, car, and the woman I had dated for three and half years.  However, God used some amazing broken people to run into my life and walk with me; my sister, Tal Prince, Greg Oliver, Traylor Lovvorn, Kelly Stephenson, my step study brothers, and Mike Foster.

Two more quotes from Mike: “For most of my adult life, I used my design skills to create cover-ups to hide my failures and dysfunction.”  “In hiding my weaknesses, I eventually realized I had been denying something really important: the real me. And as much as I hate to admit it, the less desirable parts of myself are still me.”

I find myself genuinely drawn to those who share their stories without makeup.  God doesn’t require our help.  His work in and through us despite our own depravity IS the story.  I sat with my sister over lunch a few weeks ago when she said to me, “I never respect a person more than when they can own their own stuff.”

Isn’t that what we all long for?  We long for the gospel of grace to be real in our lives.  We long to offer forgiveness and receive forgiveness in light of the cross of Jesus.This is more than a book.  It is an invitation and a conversation. “Grace is scarce. You know it and so do I. So the real question is, “What are we going to do about it?”

I am proud to be a part of People of the Second Chance.  You can learn more about Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite at www.potsc.com or find them on twitter @mikefoster & @judwilhite